Lights, a couple of Lights and some Lights: Clifton Mill, OH

During the Christmas season, as the halls are decked, the chestnuts roasted, the boar’s head bedecked with bays and rose-ma-ry, there comes a moment when you look around at your home. Formally quiet and reserved, now filled with colourful decorations, glitter, trees and Christmas lights. You look at the lights across your guttering, the lights on your lawn, the lights on you and you ask yourself: how many lights make it Christmas?

The answer is 3.6 million. You need at least 3.6 million Christmas lights to make it Christmas. And this is something the folks at Clifton Mill understood.

Clifton Mill

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Deep Fried Turkey, Snow, Dinosaurs (again): Clinton, NY

When that turkey died, it had no idea that death was a sweet mercy compared to what happened to it next. While our turkey is enjoying a rather extreme sauna, the neighbours have produced the modern day cauldron: a stainless steel tub is brought out and set on the lawn at what I can only describe as “outside of fireball range” of their house. Gallons of oil are added, the gas beneath is turned on, alcohol is consumed in case this event wasn’t exciting enough. It’s not some Blumenthal-esque cooking experiment, it’s Thanksgiving in Clinton, New York.

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Bad Art, JFK and Free Palestine: Boston, MA

The gentleman beside me on the subway has a greying Yosemite Sam moustache. Like most other commuters, he is quietly in his own world as we travel the Red Line away from the city centre. Unlike most commuters, he sporadically says, to no-one in particular, “It’s like shitting in her mouth.” Welcome to Boston.

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